Today’s my birthday, and I plan to do nothing in particular, but it’s a nice enough day that I’m going to leave the apartment in order to do it. But what should I, a self-respecting man of no particular level of fitness, wear in order to do nothing? If I were a girl, the answer would be easy:
They’re here for Lululemon Athletica’s twice-weekly open yoga practice, and most of them are in Lulu pants made out of formfitting Luon, a fabric celebrated mainly for its ability to shape and display the ass.
Lululemon, if you don’t know, is a brand of yoga apparel. The signature Lulu piece is the $98 Groove Pant, cut with all kinds of special gussets and flat seams to create a snug gluteal enclosure of almost perfect globularity, like a drop of water free from gravity.
How Yoga Brand Lululemon Turned Fitness Into a Spectator Sport
If you’re a guy, sporting apparel (which generally means sweatpants) worn for anything but athletic activity is seen as schlubby, desperate, or dire (or all three). But if you’re a girl, throw on some Lululemon and do all the not-yoga you want, and nobody will think anything other than, “hey, her butt DOES look cute in those pants.” So I pose to you this idle question on a lazy Sunday: is there a socially-acceptable male equivalent of Lululemon’s ass-pants?
